gonelikebirds
brycen // 23 // nyc
And my insides will spill as they burn
A punch to the gut does more to the internal
Infrastructure than the physical
I watch as my body caves
Seizing all that I once carried
This labor brings not life but death
From this house which is my body
I watch as my body caves
Doubled over, buckling under
Internal weight perservered a week
Too weak to count down
The ways my body discharges
Wake of your hands grazing my nape
Desire crystallized never satisfied
I can see you now from here
From the floor
Inside out
Did you lure me here to gut your prey?
CAN’T HEAL IF I’M DEAD
PEOPLE LIKE ME
WE PLUCK PIECES OF GRASS AS YOU SPEAK
LISTENING TO YOUR WORDS IN BEAT
IN HEAT IN HEART I FEEL
WITH YOU FOR YOU
AND HOLD YOUR HAND ALONG THE WAY
PEOPLE LIKE ME FALL ASLEEP
INTERTWINED ON GRASS
IN PARKS WITH YOU
I KISS YOU WHEN YOU TELL ME IT HURT
WHEN THREE BIRDS WERE PLUCKED
FROM THEIR PERCHES
I DONT WANT TO BE
ANOTHER STEPPING STONE
A THING BEFORE THE REAL THING
USED FOR THEIR BODY
AND THEIR COMPASSION –
MY TRAUMA HAS LACED MY WATER
WITH LOVE AND ACHE
AND I CHOOSE TO NUTURE
INSTEAD OF HATE
MAYBE THAT’S WHY IM GOOD FOR A BIT
TO EASE THE PAIN AS OTHERS
MEND THEIR BREAKS
SOAKING IN MY BATH OF TEARS
OF PAST PRESENT FUTURE WAKE
SO TOWEL-DRY AND GET UP
MY BATHHOUSE UNDER CONSTRUCTION
OPEN TO ONLY THOSE WILLING
TO HEAR ME AS I HEAR THEM
A BALANCING ACT OF NUTURE
INSTEAD OF HOLDING MY HEAD UNDER
I AM WILLING TO HELP HEAL THE WOUNDED
(I MYSELF ONE)
BUT I CAN’T BRING MYSELF OUT AGAIN
IF I’LL BE USED AND BEATEN RAW
MY WATER LACED WITH BLOOD
I CAN’T HEAL IF I’M DEAD
“The second generation, however, having grown up in the United States with neither their parents’ storytelling nor a public discourse about the Korean War, told a collective oral history in which they felt affected by some inarticulate presence that had left its imprint on what seemed to be their normal everyday lives. One man said that because of his parents’ refusal to talk about their life experiences, their past acted on his present. “For me,” he said, “it is not the past. It carries forward into my life. It carries forward into my sisters’ lives … as a hole.” This experiences of the children of Korean War survivors — having been haunted by silences that take the form of an"unhappy wind,“ “a hole,” or some other intangible or invisible force — reflects the notion that an unresolved trauma is unconsciously passed from one generation to the next. Abraham and Torok’s original theory of transgenerational haunting was based on work conducted in the 1960s with the adult children of Holocaust survivors, as well as others whose collective histories were traumatic. Their clients’ preoccupation with silences in their families, or their acting out of traumas with which they had no direct experience, provided evidence of their being haunted by the unconscious of others. What is important to note here is that the haunting effect is produced not so much by the original trauma as by the fact of its being kept hidden. It is precisely within the gap in conscious knowledge about one’s family history that secrets turn into phantoms.”
I just love my best friend a lot and realize that, that too is sustainable and I truly feel that platonic love is much stronger than romantic love and while romantic love is usually more intense…intensity isn’t strength
I truly feel that strong platonic bonds are necessary for a fulfilling life…as for romance?…unsure
(via 031793)
i don’t even want you back. no, i would never want to risk something like that. ‘cause i lost faith in myself when i turned away from the one with the longest stretch of embracing arms to hold me.
(via expandingribcage)
California Coast by faungg’s photos
(Source: expressions-of-nature, via bekkathyst)